Monday, 21 October 2013


This is just fantastic – seriously! Cauliflower is fast become my best favourite, most versatile food!

2 leeks, sliced
1 whole cauliflower head, cut up
2 beef stock cubes (yeah, yeah – stock’s not an animal. Shh. Fine, use vegetable).
Some canola oil (again – never use vegetable oil as it’s basically the ground up carcasses of orang-utans.)

In a low to moderately hot oven, place the sliced up leeks and tablespoon of oil. Give them a good stir even as they cook, so that they cook evenly in the oil. You want the oven to be low to moderate so that they caramelise rather than cook quickly – 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, in 6 cups of water, dissolve the cubes of whatever fucking stock you use and simmer the cauliflower until it’s nice and tender – about 15 minutes. The water will evaporate too much if you boil it, in which case you should add another cup at the end.
Add the leeks and, with a stab blender, pretend there’s a wanker who just had a go at you for using a beef stock cube, and stab the shit out of it until it’s beautiful and smooth and – somehow – creamy.
God I love cauliflower; the chameleon of food.
This has next to no calories, and it’s very filling on its own. If you want to impress someone who isn’t a vegan, you can also add bacon.
p.s. vegetable oil isn’t really the ground up carcasses of orang-utans, but it’d be good if people thought they were cos vegetable is palm oil which is just as bad.


Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Confessions of an experienced veggo

I'd like to share a little secret with you.

I've dabbled in being vegetarian for the last 14 years or so - no, that's not the secret.
When you live in the UK for 16 months just after the last major Mad Cow scare, and get fed nothing but two day old lamb left overs for every lunch and dinner, the toast you get at breakfast becomes your favourite meal and when your tour of hospitality duty is over, you become a vegetarian. True story.  Foodwise, hotels in England were my Nam.

Am I allowed to say that? I really like tenuous metaphors; I'm sorry.

Part of my secret is that in the 14 years that I have practiced being a herbivore with far more frequency than I've sharpened by canine teeth on the bone of a steak, there is one staple food that I have never been able to come at. Never. Not once. Tofu.

Tofu is disgusting.

I've tried everything. I've tried having it sitting there brazenly on my plate, standing out like rubber amongst the vegetables. I've bought the really soft stuff, and mashed it in amongst potatoes to conceal it. I've minced it and pretended it's spaghetti sauce, and tried to mask it with a very potent cocktail of  herbie tomato sauce. But no matter what I do, tofu is stealthy. You might not even be able to see it, feel it or smell it but then suddenly it's there, tasting like tofu on your plate.

Today, whilst in the ghetto province of Seymourland, I didn't like my chances of getting my favourite vegetarian sausages (which do, I admit, have tofu in them but not much); and I was right - they didn't stock them, but I was quite taken aback by their range of vegetarian burgers and sausages. Certain brands - the more expensive ones with less preservatives and palm oil - are already favourites, and they stocked varieties I'd not seen in three Woolworths in Melbourne. This ghetto might be vegetarian! This now brings me to the real dirty little secret - the first one was just a decoy.

I am an idiot.

I am an idiot who keeps going back for more. Give me a bad relationship, I'll plug away at it. Give me an abusive friendship and I'll still be there like a masochistic freak. Give me tofu and I will keep on trying to like it! I am an IDIOT!

So, yeah. All these amazeballs looking sausages and burgers and I bought home tofu. In ginger sauce - cos I like ginger so well. Maybe I think two hideous components of the food chain combined will ignite an as yet unimpressed tastebud? So why did I do it? Because I am a brand new vegan, and I'm sick of bloody beans so I'm ready to give anything a crack!

This is my tofu.

If I'm honest, it didn't taste too bad - but it's real success was that it didn't taste like much of anything at all, except chilli. Is cooking a success if I've only managed to bring tofu up to being hidden by an ingredient that also tastes like nothing, it's just hot?

I think so - to be honest, I just had an orange and I couldn't taste that either :-) So, really hot chilli masks all.

Still, I do like food and I don't want the next odd months of my life to be about buying shares in Mexican bell chillies so I can burn the upper layer of tastebuds off my tongue, thus forever negating the horrible taste of any food at all. For sheer convenience, I'd really like to be ale to eat tofu. So, because I am an idiot, I will persevere!


Friday, 27 September 2013

Facebook addiction

 I have a Facebook page!  Exciting! Now I can continue to abuse my addiction to social media - Feel free to follow me for my daily recipes, exploits and follies as I delve an animal free existence.

P.s. I feel amazing two weeks in! x

Warning: if you can't cook normal desserts ...

Then you probably can't cook vegan ones.

'M having a lot of fun experimenting with the new parameters of my diet. I have discovered that I love love LOVE cauliflower and avocado.  I have discovered that if you mix it with homemade hummus and some salsa, it's the best thing on corn chips that's ever been invented. I've found out that even when you go to the 'organic' aisle, corn chips have the power to kill orangutans. Woolworths: I'm looking at you; smarten the hell up with your macro range or I'm permanently defecting to Coles.
THEN there's toffee. D'you know, I've never for the life of me been able to make it.  I've made accidental butterscotch that was too buttery, hard rock candy when I wanted fudge. And I don't know why I thought it would be different after spending a ransom on pure maple syrup and organic coconut oil, but I was keen enough to try a great vegan caramel. 3rd time's a charm? Not too hot not too cold just right?

Try runny, run run runny! A good advisor suggested I drop some into cold water to see if it would set. Filled with optimism I ladelled spoon after spoonful into a cuo of cold water, each spoonful dissipating, sugar crystals morphing into the water like that creepy monster (aka hot xfiles detective) from the Terminator.  It's still sitting in the fridge; every so often I test it and - though definitely more viscous, it would barely suit any purpose better than as a topping for ice cream.

And therein, ladies and gents,  lies the rub. For not only would this be a suitable caramel for icecream, it would be AMAZING.  Just when I can't eat ice cream, I have accidentally manufacturered the world's BEST caramel topping. And before you suggest I buy some soy conconction, let me assure you that I would rather lose my sense of taste!

So. Here's a tip: coconut milk and oil make really good tasting toffee, but if you can't make it the regular way you might struggle here too. It may also be that these two ingredients simply weren't designed to set. I won't lie; the original recipe called for trans fatty margarine and I simply wouldn't do it!!

What also to do with a big jug of maple syrup?  Anyone got a good recipe for vegan (dare I say gluten free)  pancakes?!

Thursday, 26 September 2013

no-Spaghetti and meat(less) balls!

THIS was sheer brilliance - and so clean and simple: avocado and cauliflower mash (a surprise new favourite) and homemade falafel with a dash of spaghetti sauce!

I Just took a falafel recipe from - no dairy mind! Some do and some don't.

To be honest, I could eat this delightfully creamy mash (1 avocado and half a caukifkower for two with just a dash of salt and some chilli infused olive oil) and nothing else.

Cheers m'dears!

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Mental lentils - Buon appatito!

This is a great recipe, not just because it's so simple but it's one that can use all those ingredients you already have - I didn't need to buy anything! The sauce compliments the beans really well, and I recommend you throw in the frozen veggies two minutes before serving to provide a contrasting crunch!

Quick, inexpensive and really full of flavour.

You will need:

1 small can mixed beans
 1/2 cup brown lentils, canned or prepared earlier
Small onion diced super finely
Half cup of frozen veg - I used peas, corn and carrot but would suit whatever is in your freezer
Tsp dried Chilli flakes
Tbs honey
2 tbs soy sauce
1 cup spinach leaves
2 wraps, defrosted

METHOD: basically caramelize the onion and then throw everything into a saucepan on a low heat - you need everything to defrost in the honey and soy and for that sauce to thicken with the starches of the beans.
Microwave your wraps and spoon the mixture in evenly. If you wanted, you could brown them after but I like em soft!

Da daah!

Friday, 20 September 2013

Dining Delish

 Quick post to share a light recipe in the guise of pizza. Perfect if you're craving a more traditional take away but don't want to eat the whole thing!!!

And if you eat all of this one, you're ok!

1 wrap per person
3 cherry tomatoes per person, sliced
a good quality tomato puree with no water, best infused with herbs or garlic
half an avocado for two people, in cubes
A handful of torn basil leaves
Hummus - to make your self, process a small can if chickpeas, half a clove of garlic, a dessert spoon of white vinegar and a good pinc  of salt (2 people)

Take dairy free wrap - there are many available and I like the rye ones.

Heat a fry pan with about a teaspoon of oil. Don't use vegetable oil as it's made from palm oil. You don't have to do this step,  but I find it crisps up the bottom. Just pan fry one side on a medium heat for 3 to 4 minutes.

While it's crisping up, put a dessert spoon each of tomato puree (I buy one with basil infused), a tbs of hummus and a pinch of sea salt. Chilli flakes at this point would also be optional.  It should look like this:

Transfer the pizza to a baking tray, add the chopped tomatoes and half of the avocado. Spoon a tsp of garlic infused olive oil over the top of torn fresh basil leaves and grill for 5-10 mins. Watch it, because the edges can burn before the ingredients are cooked.

I didn't have any basil but I do recommend it!

The best bit is you will have two pizzas and half an avocado left.  Time to make avoxado chocolate mousse!!

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Movie Magic

A successful night out at the movies involves:

Small bag of sweet potato and beetroot chips

Snack sized box of almonds

Saying no to chocolate MnMs. And the spare choc top. Because it's just not worth the bloat.


Can’t wait for pizza tomorrow with a chickpea flour base. Photos to follow!

(p.s. my diet is way more exciting than White House Down. True story)

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Weekend Wonderful

It’s Sunday night, and I feel quite fantastic. Partly it’s pride -  that I’ve managed to abstain from all my favourite things for three days (fuck off, it is a long time); partly because I haven’t eaten any dairy so the intolerance I’ve long suspected has been pacified.

And partly because I just had kick arse chocolate mousse for dinner, and it only had 80 calories. Ish. And I hate cooking, so that’s the other fab thing: you chuck a few ingredients into the blender and you’re done.

Try it – you will be very surprised, I promise you.

Fazbo chocolate mousse:
1 tbs pure cocoa powder (is also delectable as a coating on almonds)
1 avocado, deskinned and stoned etc
1 tbs honey (ok. Not vegan. Shut up. They’re bees)
¼ cup raspberries, fresh or frozen
Method: Chuck it all into a blender or vitamiser or whatever. Blend until it isn’t green any more, then set for an hour in the fridge. Serves 2.

Then see if you can actually share -  it is seriously amazing.

Friday, 13 September 2013

Friday Night Failure

You're going to judge me hard, I know, but yesterday I failed. Sort of. I'm still a vegan though, I might add.

Last night I had the amazeballs idea that I would make a vegan dessert. It would be the vegan dessert to end all vegan desserts which, actually in my experience don't really count as food. Let alone dessert. Please indulge me now in a brief anecdote about the last time I decided to be vegan for my health. Because that time went something like this:

I also decided to make an amazeballs-sounding vegan dessert. It would be chocolatey and rich and oh so vegan, thus allowing me to prove to all of my detractors that giving up my favourites: dairy and solid animals fats, need not be the end of things. And just as a side note, I'd been drinking soy milk daily for years.

Exhibit A in my case against vegan dessert: soy yoghurt.

I don't actually believe that soy yoghurt should be classed as a food. In fact, in doing some reading on it recently, there's so little of the good stuff in soy left in it that it's pretty hard to find anything that's not genetically modified in it. (True story: in Japan they do not eat soy yoghurt). But I thought, chuck a bit of vanilla in it, buy some kick ass cacao and add a bit of geletin, and I can call it mousse.

Exhibit B: about 15 years ago I did the same thing, except with vanilla Fruche, and it WAS amazing.

Now, members of the jury (get used to my tenuous use of metaphor) please let me lead you to my conclusion. What followed was so inedible, but had taken up so much time and excitement, I left it in the fridge to remind me of my failures and I pretty much became so disillusioned by mould's inability to grow on my disgusting creation that I gave up being a vegan.

This time was a little different. I was sure that avocado - one of my fave foods - and cacao and chilli and a bit of melted, dairy free chocolate (brand not supplied. And probably not relevant) would make the dessert everyone on the vegan feeds has been raving about. And maybe it would have. But the thing is, I have a slightly different problem.

Hi. My name is Kitty Mo, and I'm a chocoholic.

That dairy free - leading brand - chocolate, even though it tasted like mud with cocoa powder in it, disappeared faster than I could add it to the avocado. Actually, I didn't crack those babies open, it was all chocolate, proving that I would, in fact, eat mud if I held the belief that there was chocolate in it. It was even gritty - I'm pretty sure the secret ingredient is dirt mixed with fetid water, people. Just saying.

So, chocolate fail. I ate the whole block. I didn't even like it, and I won't be buying dairy free products that are meant - ordained by god - to have dairy in them EVER. AGAIN. AMEN.

Let's not let the fact that I'm an atheist get in the way of a good vow. Now, a breakfast of chickpea and zucchini fritters looks amazing!!

(On a completely irrelevant note, but because I love turtles. And Microsoft Paint. Here is a turtle doing a ... something. Plee-ay phonetically!!!)

Thursday, 12 September 2013

A day without cake

Yesterday was pretty cool.
And by cool, I mean that I am bragging about my success.
First of all, the munchkins at work had a morning tea. I like to support the munchkins, but I was pretty sure the food was going to be a vegan no go zone. But surprisingly I discovered that some of the munchkins already value vegan. Wow! And whilst I was judging the hell out of them, I was also really enjoying those chickpea and zucchini fritters.
Thanks munchkins. I won’t lie and say they wouldn’t have been better with some sour cream or tzatziki. But they weren’t cake – and there was a lot of cake.


This is me after I couldn’t have cake even though my belly was full of chickpea fritters:

And here is a recipe for delicious chickpea and zucchini fritters!


  • 1 cup chickpea flour
  • 1/2 tsp chili powder (red)
  • 2 tsps salt
  • 3/4 tsp ground cumin (roasted)
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 61/2 ozs water
  • zucchini (thinly sliced)
Toss everything together, batter the zucchini and deep fry it like tempura. Amazeballs.


This is how I feel today.

Yesterday I went into the doctor just to get results for vitamin D. No biggie. But the big surprise was that I am way over the limit for my cholesterol, when a year ago I was not.

Big shock.

My parents are both pretty high stakes in the cholesterol game too, and my granddad died of a stroke, so I'm guessing I lost some kind of genetic lottery, cos at first glance I kinda thought I didn't eat a lot of animal products.

At second glance I realised this:

Cheese, milk, a block of chocolate (yes!), bacon, butter, sour cream, full-fat yoghurt and questionable meat products (in the form of sausages, dim sims, burger patties, and takeaway meat (burgers, more dim sims and lamb kebabs making my top three) make up a massive part of my week. It's disgusting isn't it.

Yet my fridge is packed with lentil curries and vegetarian tofu burgers, because I actually dislike cooking meat. And I am very concerned about fibre so I eat vegan bread already as it has the highest.

My fridge is also full of rotting vegetables that will never realise their life long dream of making it onto my dinner plate. So sad. Except I hate them all.

You might well imagine that I'm not only high in cholesterol, I'm also so anemic that my doctor declared my numbers the lowest she'd ever seen. Amazing!! I do like breaking records so I've got to say I feel pretty damn impressed with myself! But her advice was to let a bottle of iron tablets and a gyno take care of my iron, and to cut all animals fats from my life for the other thing. At least for long enough to see how that goes. (How else should it go?! Sheesh!)

And so here I am. To give you an indication of how scared I am that I have to serenade a farewell to my favourite foods, last night I went home and ate a whole bag of MnMs, a bacon and cheese burger and some bacon with a side of bacon. I thought chips was overdoing it, but now I regret that. Au revoir chips.

It's my birthday next week and I am wondering what to do about cake. Cos I do like cake. Especially with cream cheese icing. I also like scrambled eggs and sausages on my special day. With bacon.